I would never...

I have a pattern of behavior that looks something like this…I say “I would never …(fill in the blank).” And then a short time later I find myself doing that very thing. You would think I would’ve learned my lesson about making this bold statement…but no, instead I continue to be humbled by this life lesson.

I will start by saying I LOVE school. I have been playing school and pretending to be a teacher for as long as I can remember. I loved my teaching job. I love school buildings. I love textbooks and school supplies and papers that are graded and piled neatly. I love lesson planners (not actually planning the lesson, but the finished lesson plan). I love lines of students. I love classrooms. I love school. And for that reason…and many others…I swore I would never homeschool.

God began to lay this idea on my heart in recent months and gave me a fresh new approach to considering the possibility of homeschooling. I rejected the idea at first…but felt God bringing the subject back up to me in various ways time and time again…so I committed to praying about it.

I prayed about a lot of things concerning homeschooling. One thing I was praying for specifically was confirmation, one way or another…and God spoke clearly. Confirmation was given in a variety of forms…via friends, strangers, prayer, scripture, and other random ways…each time leading me to the same conclusion. But with each confirmation, I doubted. Each time I prayed for clear confirmation, I received it…but I would rationalize each confirmation away and then ask for more confirmation.

I have many reasons for homeschooling (as well as a lot of fears that I struggle with that push me to not homeschool)…which I would gladly discuss with anyone interested in talking about it…but basically what it all comes down to for me is this is where I feel God leading us RIGHT NOW. Whether God was leading us to public, private, or homeschool…I want to be where God is leading us. I don’t know why he laid this on my heart or where the journey will take us or how it will end up…but I know I am venturing onto an unknown path to me. Its scary and exciting all at once.  

I have no clue what I am doing. There are many unknowns as I venture into this new regime. I will be learning as I go. And I reserve the right to admit defeat and failure. I reserve the right to change my mind at any time…it might be after one week or one month or maybe one year…I will adjust, adapt, modify and alter (thank you thesaurus) how I educate, teach and parent my children as I go along. My goal will always be for them to be Godly, well rounded, healthy individuals.

I am well aware  that many people will hold differing opinions on education and homeschooling. The beauty of parenting is that I am responsible for my children. And all of my decisions for their health, well being, education, discipline, etc are derived from a place of deep love where my ulitimate goal is to see them succeed in life and be happy doing it! We are allowed to have different view points and different life styles. Its what makes the world go round!

There are a lot of pros and cons to traditional school as well as homeschooling…one of the pros I am excited about is I get to be with my kids all day long. One of the cons is I get to be with my kids all day long.

So when you run into me this fall after school has officially started and I look a little weary and run down…its because I’m with my kids all day long! I willingly accept this new challenge.