I have a pattern of behavior that looks something like
this…I say “I would never …(fill in the blank).” And then a short time later I
find myself doing that very thing. You would think I would’ve learned my lesson
about making this bold statement…but no, instead I continue to be humbled by
this life lesson.
I will start by saying I LOVE school. I have been playing
school and pretending to be a teacher for as long as I can remember. I loved my
teaching job. I love school buildings. I love textbooks and school supplies and
papers that are graded and piled neatly. I love lesson planners (not actually
planning the lesson, but the finished lesson plan). I love lines of students. I
love classrooms. I love school. And for that reason…and many others…I swore I
would never homeschool.
God began to lay this idea on my heart in recent months and
gave me a fresh new approach to considering the possibility of homeschooling. I
rejected the idea at first…but felt God bringing the subject back up to me in
various ways time and time again…so I committed to praying about it.
I prayed about a lot of things concerning homeschooling. One
thing I was praying for specifically was confirmation, one way or another…and
God spoke clearly. Confirmation was given in a variety of forms…via friends,
strangers, prayer, scripture, and other random ways…each time leading me to the
same conclusion. But with each confirmation, I doubted. Each time I prayed for
clear confirmation, I received it…but I would rationalize each confirmation
away and then ask for more confirmation.
I have many reasons for homeschooling (as well as a lot of
fears that I struggle with that push me to not homeschool)…which I would gladly
discuss with anyone interested in talking about it…but basically what it all
comes down to for me is this is where I feel God leading us RIGHT NOW. Whether
God was leading us to public, private, or homeschool…I want to be where God is
leading us. I don’t know why he laid this on my heart or where the journey will
take us or how it will end up…but I know I am venturing onto an unknown path to
me. Its scary and exciting all at once.
I have no clue what I am doing. There are many unknowns as I
venture into this new regime. I will be learning as I go. And I reserve the
right to admit defeat and failure. I reserve the right to change my mind at any
time…it might be after one week or one month or maybe one year…I will adjust,
adapt, modify and alter (thank you thesaurus) how I educate, teach and parent
my children as I go along. My goal will always be for them to be Godly, well
rounded, healthy individuals.
I am well aware that
many people will hold differing opinions on education and homeschooling. The
beauty of parenting is that I am responsible for my children. And all of my
decisions for their health, well being, education, discipline, etc are derived
from a place of deep love where my ulitimate goal is to see them succeed in
life and be happy doing it! We are allowed to have different view points and
different life styles. Its what makes the world go round!
There are a lot of pros and cons to traditional school as
well as homeschooling…one of the pros I am excited about is I get to be with my
kids all day long. One of the cons is I get to be with my kids all day long.
So when you run into me this fall after school has
officially started and I look a little weary and run down…its because I’m with
my kids all day long! I willingly accept this new challenge.
