why blog?

why blog? i don't have time for it. i'm not a good writer. it makes my life public. lots of reasons not to blog...but here's the thought that keeps coming back to my mind...my life is happening at warp speed. 


everybody tells you how fast it goes by and when you have kids you blink and they are grown...but now i am experiencing it and its scary. babies and kids keep you so busy that you barely have time to soak it in. i often stop and remind myself to soak in a specific moment and let it all sink in...but as hard as i try, the moments are a blur just a few moments later. 


throughout the hussle of the day and the busyness and business of the day - i lose the memories. and all it takes is a glance at a picture from a few years ago and my heart is heavy with sadness at how quickly it has all changed. 


many of the changes have been overwhelmingly joyful...new births, new babies, new friends, new homes. but the transformation of my babies is sometimes too much to bear.


 i tell them often to stop growing...to freeze in time...this is how i want life to forever be. despite all the sleepless nights, meltdowns, tears, and drama - from all of us...this is how i want it to be. they are innocent, they WANT to be with me, they are safely tucked into their beds, we are all together. its not perfect...but its pretty close. 


but they don't freeze...they grow, they change, they learn. my baby girl's hands aren't chubby little toddler hands anymore...they are slender little girl hands. my 2 year old speaks to me in paragraphs instead of just "momma". and my newest babe...weren't you just born? i still find myself telling people i just had a baby...but 5 months later i don't think i'm supposed to use that as my excuse anymore.  


God i love these kids. and my life. and my husband. i love them fiercely and deeply.


 i want to remember it all. but life happens too fast.


 i can't remember...so i will write it down...when i can escape the chaos to capture the memories onto paper. because some day all i will have are the memories of these long tiring days...and i want to remember the details...and my memory is already fleeting...so i will blog. if for no one else but myself...because  i've got all these thoughts. 

my 3 miracles.